Above, Below


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Above, blankets the worlds with haze and gray.
Unable to get through the muck.
As it hangs low we hang our heads…
Pavement mirrors the sky.

Simple to forget the pulse,
the aching movement,
the life.

Below, it coats the worlds in bubbly daze.
Everything is able among the wonder.
As it coats below with a heavenly glow.

Here we float between the meaning and the lost,
the proof and the lost translation.

Above, below;
shades of gray in both.

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8. Read 200 books…Part 7


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Spring saw me fighting  to stay afloat. My book count went astray, but that’s ok. I was living, healing and figuring out what the next step is.

On August 17th I turn 25 and over the next couple of months I will be doing everything I can to finish this list. Some goals will be missed; its inevitable at this point. Part the list is universe meeting me half way. As long as I do my half, I will be fulfilled in ‘finishing’ this list and taking up the next stage of life, and with that the next challenges.

Simply for now here is my Spring reading.

115. Gonzo: A Graphic Novel of Hunter S. Thompson by Will Bingley & Anthony Hope-Smith

116. 20 Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

117. Robot Dreams by Sara Varon

118. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedarias

119. The Rules of Survival by Nancy Werlin

120. Anya’s Ghost by Vera Brosgol

121. Sailor Twain: or the Mermaid on the Hudson by Mark Siegel

122. Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

123.The Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald

124. The Books of Faerie by Bronwyn Carlton, John Reiber and Hermann Mejia

125. Beowulf translated by Seamus Heaney

126. Life of Pi by Yann Martel

127. Ecotopia by Ernest Callenbach

128. Every You, Every Me by David Levithan

129. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

130. Ghost World by Daniel Clowes

131. Hunger by Knut Hamsun

132. Love and Friendship by Jane Austen

133. Stuart Little by E.B. White

134. Fun House by Alison Bechdel

135. V for Vendetta by Alan Moore

136. Are you My Mother? by Alison Bechdel

137. Slouching Towards Nirvana By Charles Bukowski

138. The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald

139. A Fair Maiden by Joyce Carol Oates

140. On the Road by John Kerouac

141. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

Cheers to the next two months!


Degrees


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Instead within trees
I whisper on my knees
below illuminated leaves
this struggle with
degrees.

See, you can see
the shades of gray
set between laughter of life
and each saddening stay.
But I’m blind to these shades of gray,
as a dictionary without a page.

Instead within trees
my spirit rages at defeat
unable to capture
degrees.


20. Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter


In a lot of ways you forget the awe and wonder that can happen in a day. After a while of living it becomes a rinse and repeat motion.

With two years of working a full-time job and only take little breaks here and there, I never considered that I had too forgotten.  This was my vacation to remember.

***

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Coat the world in magic to make it better. Wish everyday could be this way, coated in joy and continuous amazing potential. Going to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter was just that.

You step through the Hogsmeade archway and into this all-wizarding village and you push to the Hogwarts train. It gives the feeling that you have really arrived, and there is no turning back now. I pushed through the awe and unto the excitement of this great adventure.

I rushed forth to the first ride Champions Challenge, where we rode a hair wrenching loop-to-loop roller-coaster.

“I’m a champion, I’m a champion,” I chanted waiting on-line for the coaster. I’m horrible with loop-to-loop roller coasters. I aimed for fearless. I was living in the wonder, and fear wasn’t getting in my way.

Maybe I should have listened to the fear, and ultimately the reason.

The swirling, spinning overture may have allowed me to defy death before planting me back on my feet, but these feet were shaky sticks that couldn’t even hold up a marshmallow. I chugged water. I held the wall as I walked.

This wasn’t holding me back from the rest of the day. I was determined, even on shaky stick legs.

Breathing slowly I used the opportunity to pop into cramped Dune and Burke to gaze upon the fantastical souvenirs that coats ever aspect of life in the magical world of Harry Potter. From cloaks to copies of the Quibbler with glasses and all. They even had a growling The Monster Book of Monsters locked in a cage.

Walking into streets from the crowded shop I could see magic soaked into every nook. It made me feel like it wasn’t all in my head.

I walked into Olivander’s and watched a wand selection. I ventured on to Hogwarts where we waited on-line for the ride Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, a combination simulation and roller coaster ride. As we waited we were walked through Dumbledore’s office, gazing upon the little trinkets in the glass cabinets and on his desk, and then on to the portrait hall to watch them welcome up and even scowl at our Muggle presence.

Approaching the ride were greeted by the dynamic trio; Harry, Ron and Hermione explained how they were going to sneak us into Howgarts to go on our own sort of adventure. They weren’t joking, I swirled, swooned and tried to envision a breeze. It didn’t work.

As we whirled our final turn and settled into our final resting spot, I hurled. It projected half way across the holding space, and even a little down my shirt. There were no words. Shocked and stuttering, I attempted to apologize at the wizard at the section. He wasn’t fazed at all.

Probably just another part of his day. For the rest of mine, it meant cleaning up, and attempting to calm down. I then took to the restaurant to get some water and greasy fish in my stomach to help it settle. After a glass of butterbeer I felt better, but in need of a safe place to land.

Returning to hotel, I laid my eyes on the magnificent place we would be staying for the night. Plum beds overflowing with soft fluffy covers. everything felt divine. Stepping into the bathroom, I was a gasp. It was twice the size of the bathroom I had at home, and spoke of luxury. It still surprises me that a phone was located on the wall next to the toilet.

Flopping on the bed, I shut my eyes for an afternoon break among the fluffy pillow masses.

Within a hour it was time to rise and explore the rest of the park, milking our tickets for every aspect of the two parks at Universal that is conceivable. After a day in the parks the night was also filled with adventure, going to the boardwalk filled with evening events. Catching a drink with my aunt and uncle was divine after the day of constant moving.

Throughout the trip, it was constant diving in head first. Going for the next adventure. Never holding back and seeing what magic can come from it all.

***

Sometimes you get so isolated dreaming up these fantasies to escape while your working through everyday life that you forget that there is a real world ready to explore. In this case it was a place I had imagined for so long that it stuns you when it becomes so real.

Thanks to all the people that helped make this trip not only possible but magical: Annie, Linda & Ed Brunner, Patricia Thompson, Eileen Thompson, Karen Speight, and all my cousins.


Are you counting?


Dawn whispers
through the shades
The day,
undecided as I am
Dawn whispers
its reluctant ways
to begin again

Get ready in small waves
torn between joining in
and laying down

Not ready.
Count the days,
Not ready
count the days
count the ways
not done yet

Feet stumbles
through days that aren’t mine
mind wanders
as arms are winged wide
to soar above this

Oh this isn’t the way.
Not ready
count the days,
not ready
count the days
count the ways
not done yet

too young
feet still stumbling
mind wandering away

Not ready.
Count the days,
Not ready
count the days
count the ways
not done yet

Oh and this was your wild way
Not ready, jump.
Feel the magic pulse
Don’t count the days
Not done, just grow into
Your wild way

But that doesn’t make it real today.

too young
feet still stumbling
mind wandering astray

that doesn’t make it real today.

Not ready.
Count the days,
Not ready
count the days
count the ways
not done yet


8. Read 200 Books…part 6


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Here are the books of winter. In the coldest of months they were cuddled, read, and loved.
Hopefully the spring books won’t be burdened by winter’s cold clutch, but so far there has been nothing to provide proof for that. New York is a frozen tundra and on the first day of Spring we had snow. Let’s hope it turn out much better, much sooner.

83. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams

84. Scary Mary by S.A. Hunter

85. The Pearl by John Steinbeck

86. Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

87. How Did You Get This Number by Sloane Crosley

88. Everyday by David Levithan

89. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

90. Beauty’s Release by Anne Rice

91. The Wasteland and other Poems by T.S. Elliot

92. Men Without Women by Earnest Hemingway

93. Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

94. Anne Frank: The Authorized Graphic Biography by Sid Jacobson and Ernie Colon

95. Animal Farm by George Orwell

96. Queen of Babble in the Big City by Meg Cabot

97. I was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley

98. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

99. Queen of Babble Gets Hitched by Meg Cabot

100. The Colossus and Other Poems by Sylvia Plath

102. Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote

103. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

104. Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

105. Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

107. Plath Poems selected by Diane Wood Middlebrook

108.Through The Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

109. Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

110. The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler

111. My Friend Dahmer by Derf Backderf

112. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum

113. Life, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams

114. The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells


These Streets Lap


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Laps in the lamplight of
these streets,
I make them every time.

Laps in the places you’ve been
once before,
but have grown stale waiting.

Laps longingly to know
why in dreams
you take me every time.

Laps in the what-ifs and never-weres
in these streets,
I question them only here.

Laps of remembering
we will never linger together
in these streets.

Laps of always knowing
you still take hold,
in these dreams tonight.